(Even when it doesn't feel like it.)
In a post a few days ago, I alluded to the fact that God has been preparing us for this season of deployment and upheaval for several months...at least. As I shared an update with some ladies at CBS on Wednesday (it was only the second time in 3 months that I'd been there), I was struck by how many ways God has equipped us specifically to deal with this! We shouldn't be pitied for what we've been called to walk through; and we certainly aren't showcases of awesomeness to gawk at as spectacular examples to follow (trust me!) BUT, I do think we could be illustrations of ways God shows His mercy, grace, and kindness. Just look at some of the things He's done:
1. He nestled us in Wichita, KS at a time in our lives when we would be familiarized with the local OB/Gyn's and birth center/hospitals. (Remember, Collin was born here too!) We have been here almost two years now, and have had ample time to become familiar and comfortable with the area, roads, and sub-communities.
2. He led us very specifically to a church where we would be challenged, convicted, and spurred on to grow in our faith, and where the body functions like a body, caring for each of its members' needs and utilizing their gifts.
3. He brought us through our first deployment experience...and He brought us through it here! He gave us a strong, willing, loving support network...and, in what I believe is a special gift to ward off my fear and insecurity in accepting help (especially from people I don't know very well), He allowed that first deployment to be smooth and free from the complications/additional issues we're facing this time. I'm not sure if I'm getting my point across here, but it's incredible to me that we essentially got a trial run at this before having the extra emotions and stresses heaped on top. THAT is amazing grace, I tell you!
4. He placed me in a Bible study group this year that has been so much more than I expected. It's amazing because a) the friend who told me about the CBS group here is someone we met at a church we were visiting but didn't stay at; b) she was unable to attend this year; c) I was placed on a waiting list and told there would likely not be room for my kids in the classes, but then at the last minute, they had space for us; d) the study that we've been doing has paralleled (almost exactly) the same material we are covering in my Sunday School class at church and my own private study, so I'm basically getting each section three times (four or five if you count the discussions); e) it's opened up a whole new support network to me which I couldn't have even foreseen needing when I originally signed up! Wow.
5. He's brought us through another year! By itself, that doesn't say a lot, but a lot happens in a year! We have all grown in our faith and learned a lot...including the little "nit-noid" things that just help life function a little smoother. Another year to mature is certainly not a waste.
And there are, undoubtedly, countless other things I could list here...some more conspicuous than others. But the point is this: God has been so merciful to bring these things at this. particular. time.
I am floored by the goodness of His gifts...and it makes me almost wonder if, at other times, I've somehow felt deserving of what He's given...? (That's not quite the wording I'm looking for, but it'll have to do for now.) I mean, why am I not always completely baffled when things work out smoothly or go as I hope? Does the fact that I'm a little shocked that things are going the way I hoped they would indicate that I expect God to always choose the hardest, most uncomfortable way for me? And if that's really the case (and I'm not sure!), why do I expect that? Don't we, as parents, delight in seeing our children's faces light up when we've given them something they really, really wanted? Just because?
I guess it's a glimpse of His character that we can't ever truly get if we're expecting it.
Maybe. :)
Anyway, I hope you'll rejoice with me in the swift, abundant, and generous answer given to so many of your prayers! Thank you for walking through this with us, and truly, praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
A Little More...
...on Ian's birthday.
First off, I need to commend my girls. They have been plotting and planning for Ian's birthday for several weeks now, scheming all kinds of little ways to make it special for him. They have giggled together as they would sneak downstairs into the office, barricading themselves inside to make all kinds of nice little crafts for him (which he loved seeing for the first time tonight!) They discussed what they wanted to buy for him, and they put their heads together to greet him with a special musical birthday composition this morning when he came out of his room!! (It even had "harmony,"...intentional and nice, even if it wasn't quite in tune, haha! And it was a heart-warming way to begin the day for all of us.)
Ian, too, though...he just amazes me. Even on his own birthday, he was constantly thinking of everyone else.
Scott and I had an appointment this morning to visit the school the girls will be transferring to when we move. (We love it, by the way!) Anyway, it took a little longer than I expected, which put us under some time pressure to get back to the opposite side of Wichita for my physical therapy appointment, causing Scott (and the boys) to have to drop me off and pick me back up an hour later. Ian, completely on his own, decided it would be really nice to "take Mommy out to lunch." At Olive Garden!
I ♥ that boy!
I coaxed and prodded a little, even suggesting that maybe Chuck E. Cheese would be more preferable since it was his birthday, but no. He wasn't even swayed by an offer of a nice, sticky PB&J!! (And if you know my son, you'll realize the awesomeness of this refusal!) He was insistent that we needed to go to OG...just because I like it. So, Scott gave me "the look" and off to Olive Garden we went! (And the Ravioli di Portobello...and the artichoke-spinach dip...and the breadsticks...and the salad...were delicious!)
When we got home and got Collin down for his nap, Ian helped me decorate his "super cool" Spiderman cupcakes (which I posted pictures of before.) He had SO. MUCH. FUN! By the oooo-ing and ahhh-ing he did, you'd have thought I was the Ace of Cakes! (...which, clearly, I am not.) And as he was meticulously tooth-picking Spidermans (Spidermen?) on webs and sprinkling the chocolate-frosted ones, he kept exclaiming, "the girls are going to love these!" (They did!)
As he finalized his menu requests for dinner tonight, he also kept checking to see if I thought Katy and Emily would like his choices. It just struck me: I've never heard/seen a kid take stuff like that into consideration on their own birthday...I sure didn't when I got to choose a special birthday meal as a child! In the end, his choices were a big hit with EVERYONE. He wanted scrambled eggs, extra crispy bacon, strawberry muffins, orange slices, apple slices with peanut butter dip (YUM!), and milk to drink. Couple all of that with his chocolate-fudge cupcakes (some with chocolate and some with cream-cheese frosting), and his two choices of ice cream (mint-chocolate chip, and chocolate chip cookie dough), and it was a pretty fantastic dinner!
Naturally, he enjoyed the gift part, too, and happily proclaimed before bed: "This was the coolest birthday in the whole world!!!" And he meant it. :) Love my little guy!
First off, I need to commend my girls. They have been plotting and planning for Ian's birthday for several weeks now, scheming all kinds of little ways to make it special for him. They have giggled together as they would sneak downstairs into the office, barricading themselves inside to make all kinds of nice little crafts for him (which he loved seeing for the first time tonight!) They discussed what they wanted to buy for him, and they put their heads together to greet him with a special musical birthday composition this morning when he came out of his room!! (It even had "harmony,"...intentional and nice, even if it wasn't quite in tune, haha! And it was a heart-warming way to begin the day for all of us.)
Ian, too, though...he just amazes me. Even on his own birthday, he was constantly thinking of everyone else.
Scott and I had an appointment this morning to visit the school the girls will be transferring to when we move. (We love it, by the way!) Anyway, it took a little longer than I expected, which put us under some time pressure to get back to the opposite side of Wichita for my physical therapy appointment, causing Scott (and the boys) to have to drop me off and pick me back up an hour later. Ian, completely on his own, decided it would be really nice to "take Mommy out to lunch." At Olive Garden!
I ♥ that boy!
I coaxed and prodded a little, even suggesting that maybe Chuck E. Cheese would be more preferable since it was his birthday, but no. He wasn't even swayed by an offer of a nice, sticky PB&J!! (And if you know my son, you'll realize the awesomeness of this refusal!) He was insistent that we needed to go to OG...just because I like it. So, Scott gave me "the look" and off to Olive Garden we went! (And the Ravioli di Portobello...and the artichoke-spinach dip...and the breadsticks...and the salad...were delicious!)
When we got home and got Collin down for his nap, Ian helped me decorate his "super cool" Spiderman cupcakes (which I posted pictures of before.) He had SO. MUCH. FUN! By the oooo-ing and ahhh-ing he did, you'd have thought I was the Ace of Cakes! (...which, clearly, I am not.) And as he was meticulously tooth-picking Spidermans (Spidermen?) on webs and sprinkling the chocolate-frosted ones, he kept exclaiming, "the girls are going to love these!" (They did!)
As he finalized his menu requests for dinner tonight, he also kept checking to see if I thought Katy and Emily would like his choices. It just struck me: I've never heard/seen a kid take stuff like that into consideration on their own birthday...I sure didn't when I got to choose a special birthday meal as a child! In the end, his choices were a big hit with EVERYONE. He wanted scrambled eggs, extra crispy bacon, strawberry muffins, orange slices, apple slices with peanut butter dip (YUM!), and milk to drink. Couple all of that with his chocolate-fudge cupcakes (some with chocolate and some with cream-cheese frosting), and his two choices of ice cream (mint-chocolate chip, and chocolate chip cookie dough), and it was a pretty fantastic dinner!
Naturally, he enjoyed the gift part, too, and happily proclaimed before bed: "This was the coolest birthday in the whole world!!!" And he meant it. :) Love my little guy!
My Ian is 4!!!
Seems like every birthday post for the kids contains some statement about not being able to believe how quickly the time has passed, but it's just so true! I can't believe that my little man, who was so tiny and stayed so tiny for so long, is now a big 4-year-old!
Ian,
You are a joy to everyone who gets to know you. Your mild-mannered ways, quiet pensiveness, serious honesty as you describe your understanding of the world around you, and sweet sensitivity all combine in a beautiful way. You know exactly how to charm [all of us "older" ladies...like Grandma and me] as you climb up close next to us and ask if we'll "tickle" your arm. You are polite and obedient, you love (and excel at) being a helper, you are gentle with me and your siblings (especially Collin), yet you absolutely LOVE to wrestle with Daddy and show off your muscles. :)
You're proud when you get to be "man of the house" when Daddy is away, and you take your duty of looking after me pretty seriously, even putting your arm around me in church or holding my hand...just because. :) But your feelings are never far beneath the surface either; you are responsive when you find out you've done something wrong, and you're eager to make it right; you consider the feelings of others almost like it's second nature to you; no one has to guess how you're feeling because you wear it all over you...and though you may grow to either dislike this quality or learn to hide it some, it's not always a bad thing if you learn right ways to manage it.
You continue to adore and admire your big sisters, hanging on their every word as they tell about what they're learning and experiencing at school, and you take your big brother role to heart, patiently but diligently training up the younger superhero in our house. Collin soaks it all up, too, and loves nothing more than imitating you and following you everywhere.
Your favorite color is green (and you make sure this fact is understood), and you are passionate about Buzz Lightyear (or most anything relating to Toy Story), dinosaurs, space (because you can float in outer space and see the planets), airplanes, and Spiderman. Candy Land is your favorite game, but you're eager to play ANY game if someone bigger will play with you. You love going to church to see your teacher and your friends, and you love your "purple lamb class" while I'm in my Bible study...and you retain almost everything you learn there, which warms my heart. You are eager to pray, which I hope will continue, to the point that you're sad when it's someone else's turn.
All-in-all, you are a blessing to our family, and I'm so thankful that I get to be your mommy. Have the happiest birthday, Ian! I love you soooo much!
Here are a few pictures of us decorating his Spiderman cupcakes today. More b-day pictures to follow...
Ian,
You are a joy to everyone who gets to know you. Your mild-mannered ways, quiet pensiveness, serious honesty as you describe your understanding of the world around you, and sweet sensitivity all combine in a beautiful way. You know exactly how to charm [all of us "older" ladies...like Grandma and me] as you climb up close next to us and ask if we'll "tickle" your arm. You are polite and obedient, you love (and excel at) being a helper, you are gentle with me and your siblings (especially Collin), yet you absolutely LOVE to wrestle with Daddy and show off your muscles. :)
You're proud when you get to be "man of the house" when Daddy is away, and you take your duty of looking after me pretty seriously, even putting your arm around me in church or holding my hand...just because. :) But your feelings are never far beneath the surface either; you are responsive when you find out you've done something wrong, and you're eager to make it right; you consider the feelings of others almost like it's second nature to you; no one has to guess how you're feeling because you wear it all over you...and though you may grow to either dislike this quality or learn to hide it some, it's not always a bad thing if you learn right ways to manage it.
You continue to adore and admire your big sisters, hanging on their every word as they tell about what they're learning and experiencing at school, and you take your big brother role to heart, patiently but diligently training up the younger superhero in our house. Collin soaks it all up, too, and loves nothing more than imitating you and following you everywhere.
Your favorite color is green (and you make sure this fact is understood), and you are passionate about Buzz Lightyear (or most anything relating to Toy Story), dinosaurs, space (because you can float in outer space and see the planets), airplanes, and Spiderman. Candy Land is your favorite game, but you're eager to play ANY game if someone bigger will play with you. You love going to church to see your teacher and your friends, and you love your "purple lamb class" while I'm in my Bible study...and you retain almost everything you learn there, which warms my heart. You are eager to pray, which I hope will continue, to the point that you're sad when it's someone else's turn.
All-in-all, you are a blessing to our family, and I'm so thankful that I get to be your mommy. Have the happiest birthday, Ian! I love you soooo much!
Here are a few pictures of us decorating his Spiderman cupcakes today. More b-day pictures to follow...
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
New Day, New Miracle!
My knight in shining armor (a.k.a. my husband) is in the process of pulling the necessary strings (and there are a LOT of them) to get us moved before he leaves!!! This is HUGE, y'all!!
So to answer a few questions:
Yes, he is a rockstar.
Yes, he is a superhero.
And yes, he is one-in-a-million. (At least!)
So here's the [planned] dealio:
1. We will pay one million dollars (spoken in my best Dr. Evil voice, and possibly--or possibly not--very exaggerated) to get out of our lease a couple months early. (Some of you might think the financial hit is a bit silly, but the peace of mind for Scott knowing that we're settled and taken care of + being freed from the concerns that come with moving at 38 weeks pregnant = truly priceless. Praise the Lord, He's placed us in a position where we CAN do this!)
*We are still hopeful that the owners of our current house can get out of THEIR current lease a little early and might, thusly, be willing to just...let us out...of our lease. That would be wonderful and helpful and relieving, but not absolutely necessary.*
2. We will have a gigantic garage sale where we get rid of everything humanly possible. (Okay, that might be slightly exaggerated too, but we plan on getting rid of a lot...so please come out on February 12** and buy all our stuff!!!)
**Date subject to change, but I'll keep you posted!
3. We pack like it's goin' outta style and then mooch off all our friends with trucks and/or muscles on March 5th. (Anyone like moving other people's stuff? Or, if you don't like other people's stuff in general, do you want to move just our stuff?? Anyone???)
4. We will unpack like...well, hopefully like we did when we moved here. That went pretty quickly and smoothly, actually. :) PLUS, I'll get to exercise some of my mad nesting urges, organizing things how I want at a time when it'll be super important to be organized! :)
5. We will be done in time for the girls' Spring Break and we'll all relax like it's goin' outta style. :)
(Hey, I can dream.) We are still weighing our options school-wise: should we brave the 30+ minute commute each way and keep the girls in their current school for the rest of the year OR should we go ahead and have them start at their new school and finish the year there? There are lots of reasons for each option.
6. We/I start thinking about everything that comes after the move. (And I silently vow to do my utmost not to be a sissy!) At this juncture, I'm actually pretty calm about the whole thing...still! (It's amazing, really!) Everything will work out, and maybe this baby's story will serve as a powerful testimony of God's grace and providence to her one day...it is already serving that purpose for me.
It's incredible how the pieces are already starting to fall into place, and it's been less than two weeks since "the news" hit!! I can't even find adequate words to express the overflow of thankfulness and...sheer glee (?)...by the completeness of the provision being orchestrated.
It's truly beyond my hopes. There are so many things where God is tenderly showing us how He's been preparing us for this season for months...it's awe-inspiring, really! I'm currently working on putting some of those things into another post. I heard somewhere that you can't have a testimony without the test; and certainly, God accomplishes what He sets out to accomplish, regardless of whether I surrender obediently and joyfully or not. I long to be a willing and glad participant in the story He's writing, rather than just a morose background character being drug through by her toenails. Realistically, I expect that I'll have my kicking-and-screaming moments (or longer...let's hope not much longer, though), but I pray He'll teach me how to surrender more quickly and completely, and that He'll use the testimony that results from all of this for His glory through me...not just despite me. If you feel so led, would you pray for my heart in this regard??
In ways I can't entirely explain, we feel so blessed, so grateful, and already so...cared for...in this season. All praise belongs to Him! :)
So to answer a few questions:
Yes, he is a rockstar.
Yes, he is a superhero.
And yes, he is one-in-a-million. (At least!)
So here's the [planned] dealio:
1. We will pay one million dollars (spoken in my best Dr. Evil voice, and possibly--or possibly not--very exaggerated) to get out of our lease a couple months early. (Some of you might think the financial hit is a bit silly, but the peace of mind for Scott knowing that we're settled and taken care of + being freed from the concerns that come with moving at 38 weeks pregnant = truly priceless. Praise the Lord, He's placed us in a position where we CAN do this!)
*We are still hopeful that the owners of our current house can get out of THEIR current lease a little early and might, thusly, be willing to just...let us out...of our lease. That would be wonderful and helpful and relieving, but not absolutely necessary.*
2. We will have a gigantic garage sale where we get rid of everything humanly possible. (Okay, that might be slightly exaggerated too, but we plan on getting rid of a lot...so please come out on February 12** and buy all our stuff!!!)
**Date subject to change, but I'll keep you posted!
3. We pack like it's goin' outta style and then mooch off all our friends with trucks and/or muscles on March 5th. (Anyone like moving other people's stuff? Or, if you don't like other people's stuff in general, do you want to move just our stuff?? Anyone???)
4. We will unpack like...well, hopefully like we did when we moved here. That went pretty quickly and smoothly, actually. :) PLUS, I'll get to exercise some of my mad nesting urges, organizing things how I want at a time when it'll be super important to be organized! :)
5. We will be done in time for the girls' Spring Break and we'll all relax like it's goin' outta style. :)
(Hey, I can dream.) We are still weighing our options school-wise: should we brave the 30+ minute commute each way and keep the girls in their current school for the rest of the year OR should we go ahead and have them start at their new school and finish the year there? There are lots of reasons for each option.
6. We/I start thinking about everything that comes after the move. (And I silently vow to do my utmost not to be a sissy!) At this juncture, I'm actually pretty calm about the whole thing...still! (It's amazing, really!) Everything will work out, and maybe this baby's story will serve as a powerful testimony of God's grace and providence to her one day...it is already serving that purpose for me.
It's incredible how the pieces are already starting to fall into place, and it's been less than two weeks since "the news" hit!! I can't even find adequate words to express the overflow of thankfulness and...sheer glee (?)...by the completeness of the provision being orchestrated.
It's truly beyond my hopes. There are so many things where God is tenderly showing us how He's been preparing us for this season for months...it's awe-inspiring, really! I'm currently working on putting some of those things into another post. I heard somewhere that you can't have a testimony without the test; and certainly, God accomplishes what He sets out to accomplish, regardless of whether I surrender obediently and joyfully or not. I long to be a willing and glad participant in the story He's writing, rather than just a morose background character being drug through by her toenails. Realistically, I expect that I'll have my kicking-and-screaming moments (or longer...let's hope not much longer, though), but I pray He'll teach me how to surrender more quickly and completely, and that He'll use the testimony that results from all of this for His glory through me...not just despite me. If you feel so led, would you pray for my heart in this regard??
In ways I can't entirely explain, we feel so blessed, so grateful, and already so...cared for...in this season. All praise belongs to Him! :)
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
"Not THAT Sick..."
Katy had to stay home from school yesterday due to her tummy bug. She genuinely didn't feel very good, and she looked it. She managed some chicken soup at dinner time, but nothing else besides water and gingerale during the day. Her eyes had that dark-rimmed, sunken look, and she was content to just lay around. She needed to be home, but by bed time, she was energetic and perky and dying to play. (...and also very sad when we told her she was sick, and needed to lay down.)
This morning, she woke up with Emily, but after the two talked, they decided (and I'm not sure who contributed the most to their ideas) that Katy "needed" to spend another day at home. No fever, no noticeable tummy trouble, plenty of talking and giggling...she seemed okay to me, but sometimes it really can be hard to tell, so I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt...on my terms, designed as a test of how bad she *really* felt:
Being sick enough to miss another day of school must mean it's pretty serious (riiight?), so we would need to take drastic measures. No getting out of bed except to use the restroom. No TV (might contribute to a headache and aggravate her stomach), and no (NO) playing. Rest, rest, rest...so she could get well!
In a miraculous stroke of healing wonder, Katy bounded out of bed and declared that she was going to attempt to take her bath. "I don't think I'm that sick, Mom. I'd better try!"
Good idea.
This morning, she woke up with Emily, but after the two talked, they decided (and I'm not sure who contributed the most to their ideas) that Katy "needed" to spend another day at home. No fever, no noticeable tummy trouble, plenty of talking and giggling...she seemed okay to me, but sometimes it really can be hard to tell, so I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt...on my terms, designed as a test of how bad she *really* felt:
Being sick enough to miss another day of school must mean it's pretty serious (riiight?), so we would need to take drastic measures. No getting out of bed except to use the restroom. No TV (might contribute to a headache and aggravate her stomach), and no (NO) playing. Rest, rest, rest...so she could get well!
In a miraculous stroke of healing wonder, Katy bounded out of bed and declared that she was going to attempt to take her bath. "I don't think I'm that sick, Mom. I'd better try!"
Good idea.
Monday, January 24, 2011
A Good Read (Linked Article)
{I liked this a lot when I saw it posted on a friend's FB page today (thanks, Angie!), so I'm including it here. It's a good look into the life of a deployed military spouse...I relate personally to a lot of the stuff she mentions, even though there are some differences between deployments in the army and the air force! The whole article can be found at moneysavingmom.com, or some other good posts here.}
How to Manage Your Time (and Sanity!) as a Military Mom
by Crystal on January 24, 2011
Guest post by Megan at To Love a Soldier
I wake up to the shrill sound of that horribly annoying ring and I smile. It is 6 a.m. and he is calling. “Good afternoon! How is your day so far?” There is no noise on the other end.
“Please work, please work, please work,” I think to myself.
Then I hear it, a voice that has become all too familiar to me, “The call could not be completed. Please try again later.” I jump out of bed and begin to pull up the sheets, flatten out the comforter and smooth over the coverlet. I grab the throw pillows from the empty side of the bed when the phone rings again.
“Hello?” I say, truly asking. White noise. “Hello?” I ask again knowing there won’t be an answer.
I touch “end call” and place the remainder of the pillows in their places. I head into the bathroom, start the water and place the phone next to the shower, it rings one more time. “Hello?” I ask again.
Static. I put the phone on the hamper lid and step into the steam.
The way I see it, Military spouses have two choices when our loved one is deployed: pull up the covers over our head or smooth out the comforter. A year is a long time — and this is how long my husband will be gone from myself and our two boys. For them, for me and for him, I choose to get out of bed.
There is so much that goes into a day when you are the mother of a two-year-old and a nine-month-old and all of this becomes so much greater when your husband is in Kandahar. My focus is on these things: keeping this family strong and together and helping fellow military wives do the same.
There are many things we can do to make the time go by faster, to make the homecoming seem closer. I try to focus on what can be done and what must be done to thrive in this very special life. It can be overwhelming, it can be stressful, it can be heart-breaking; but it can be so incredibly rewarding and full of joy.
It is easy to get lost in the struggle, to become broken in the battle and to grow tired of the heart-break. But each day brings us closer and each day can make us stronger. Here is how I do it:
Wake Up!
It is quite possibly the most important step of each day along this journey. And I don’t mean wake up at 8 a.m. and lie in bed waiting for him to call and then maybe go watch TV and eat a bowl of cereal. Seriously, wake up! My number one goal is to wake up before my children because if I wake up after them my entire day changes.
You should know that I am not a morning person. I am a triple-shot-venti-give-me-as-much-espresso-as-you got-if-you-want-me-to-speak-clearly kind of person! But I cannot tell you how much better I feel each day if I am up and showered before my kids start babbling or my son sits on the potty still wearing his pj’s (forgetting that all too important step, yet again!).
And if I get to wake up to the sound of my soldier’s voice, it is already a blessed day. But if I stay in bed and wait for that phone call, I could be waiting for a long time.
Send an Email
I know, I know. How technology-dependent have we become? Well, very. And at this point, I don’t answer emails, mainly because I probably only have a couple minutes (if that) before my kiddos are up and moving like they’ve had three shots of espresso and because I don’t want people to begin to think that I will be up and ready to answer their questions at 6 a.m. every morning.
I check my email for one reason: to see if he sent me a message. If he did, he is probably frustrated with the phone system and apologizing for the call not going through (as though it is his fault at all). If he didn’t I know that his plate is even fuller than usual so I email him a few encouraging words, an “I love you” and a “stay safe” and log out.
Enter the Craziness
Yup, there’s my two-year-old, sitting on the potty, pants on, smiling. Luckily, since I have been up and showered, I catch him in time. Pants down, diaper off, M&M looming before him and I hear the babbling in the other room. I open the door and there is my 9-month-old, standing in his crib laughing at me. I wish my husband could see that smile.
Answer Emails
This is important for me because there are 18 soldiers (other than my own) who have their families depend on me to be their link to them during this deployment. Their parents, their spouses, their children, their fiancees, all have my information if they need me. I do not, for a moment, take that responsibility lightly.
I check to see if any questions have come up and I answer them quickly through an email if appropriate or a phone call depending on the time and taking into account the four different time zones there are family members in. This will bring me into perhaps one of the most important things for a Military Wife to remember…
Reach Out for Support
We cannot get through this alone. Okay fine, you can, if you want to be mediocre, if you want to just make it through and if you want to burn out somewhere down the line. But to be a strong support to my soldier, to be a good mother to our children, to take care of myself, I need to recognize that support is nothing but good.
I can only speak for the Army as far as personal experience, but there are so many incredible resources at our disposal during deployments. There are so many people who can help along the way — to do the simple things or to manage the hard things.
Every Army post has an MWR and ACS building/center that can be a major life-line for a military spouse. Use them! I cannot stress this enough. Any welcome center on a military installation can direct you to this building or center and when you enter you will find a plethora of information and people to help you to understand it. (Army OneSource is the online version).
This is also a great way to know what amazing free shows, deals and events are being offered for military families in your area. My children saw Disney on Ice: Toy Story 3 free because of information like this! You won’t know about it if you don’t reach out.
Set a Goal
Deadlines make everything go by so much faster and to have a deadline for something other than when your soldier will return home keeps your mind focused on other things. Many women run marathons, begin blogging, go back to school or volunteer.
To volunteer in the military community has been one of the most fulfilling things in my life. To support those in the same situation and to find support in them does nothing but strengthen the spirit.
Make Time Everyday for Daddy
My children have so many reminders of their Daddy. We aren’t able to Skype right now, so my husband has not seen our boys in about two months. But our boys have a Hallmark book that holds his voice, video recordings of him reading stories, a doll that is a likeness of him and each has a stuffed animal with his voice telling him goodnight.
Everyday we go through pictures, watch videos, talk about him and keep him present. This may be one of the most difficult things to juggle. We are like single parents when our soldiers are away — but at the same time we aren’t.
We are constantly trying to keep our soldiers part of their children’s lives and it can be so stressful. As a friend pointed out, it can make it difficult to enjoy the moments they are missing because we are constantly videoing, snapping pictures, taking notes and trying to keep them up-to-speed.
Let Him Know About Today
Each night I email my soldier with what went on that day and what amazing things are children did. I try to describe it as best as I can for him. This is a double-edged sword: I know he wants to know these things so very much but I also know how much it hurts him to know that he is missing these moments.
My son has crawled, sat up, pulled up and began to try to walk; when my soldier left he was rolling. When he returns, my son will be running.
I tell him about myself, too: what I did, what I hoped to do the next day. I also tell him how much I love him and how proud I am. I do this each day and I will continue to.
Make Time for You
I said how important and stressful it is to keep “daddy” present everyday. But it can be so very tiring, and it is so easy to get caught up in it. So everyday, when you put your children down to sleep, when the world has slowed for a moment, take that instant and breathe.
I write to my boys or I simply sit still. It is amazing the amount of emotions that run through the body if we sit still for a moment when they are gone. And I still say to take that moment and feel it. I do not think we should wallow in our heartache but I do think we should acknowledge it. To be present in it for a time is healthy, to overcome it is empowering. To hurt when they are gone does not make us weak, but to only hurt when they are gone will make us broken.
Read a book, find a blog of a military wife who lets you know that we all feel how you feel. We all hurt how you hurt. We all fear what you fear. Be empowered by the strength that exists within the band of sisters that surround you. Reboot. Recharge. Relax! You cannot be Mommy and Daddy everyday if you don’t.
I love this life. I miss my husband but I am so very proud of him. I want our children to be proud of him, too. If they see me sulk while their daddy is away, if they grow up with that image in their head, they will only remember that. They will not remember the pride, the love and the support.
I want them to understand the importance of his job as they age. I have to set the example by my actions as they grow. What our young children think of their fathers rests on our shoulders. There is so much we should do, everyday, to make sure that image is the same thing we see.
Stay strong. Stay committed. Persevere!
{Megan is an Army Wife to a wonderful soldier currently stationed in Kandahar, Afghanistan for a 12-month tour. She seeks to strengthen those around her, encourage those she’s never met and enlighten anyone who doesn’t understand this life. She supports the men and women in uniform with everything in her and looks forward to the next time she will see her husband marching in formation when they welcome him home next summer. Megan blogs at To Love a Soldier.}
How to Manage Your Time (and Sanity!) as a Military Mom
by Crystal on January 24, 2011
Guest post by Megan at To Love a Soldier
I wake up to the shrill sound of that horribly annoying ring and I smile. It is 6 a.m. and he is calling. “Good afternoon! How is your day so far?” There is no noise on the other end.
“Please work, please work, please work,” I think to myself.
Then I hear it, a voice that has become all too familiar to me, “The call could not be completed. Please try again later.” I jump out of bed and begin to pull up the sheets, flatten out the comforter and smooth over the coverlet. I grab the throw pillows from the empty side of the bed when the phone rings again.
“Hello?” I say, truly asking. White noise. “Hello?” I ask again knowing there won’t be an answer.
I touch “end call” and place the remainder of the pillows in their places. I head into the bathroom, start the water and place the phone next to the shower, it rings one more time. “Hello?” I ask again.
Static. I put the phone on the hamper lid and step into the steam.
The way I see it, Military spouses have two choices when our loved one is deployed: pull up the covers over our head or smooth out the comforter. A year is a long time — and this is how long my husband will be gone from myself and our two boys. For them, for me and for him, I choose to get out of bed.
There is so much that goes into a day when you are the mother of a two-year-old and a nine-month-old and all of this becomes so much greater when your husband is in Kandahar. My focus is on these things: keeping this family strong and together and helping fellow military wives do the same.
There are many things we can do to make the time go by faster, to make the homecoming seem closer. I try to focus on what can be done and what must be done to thrive in this very special life. It can be overwhelming, it can be stressful, it can be heart-breaking; but it can be so incredibly rewarding and full of joy.
It is easy to get lost in the struggle, to become broken in the battle and to grow tired of the heart-break. But each day brings us closer and each day can make us stronger. Here is how I do it:
Wake Up!
It is quite possibly the most important step of each day along this journey. And I don’t mean wake up at 8 a.m. and lie in bed waiting for him to call and then maybe go watch TV and eat a bowl of cereal. Seriously, wake up! My number one goal is to wake up before my children because if I wake up after them my entire day changes.
You should know that I am not a morning person. I am a triple-shot-venti-give-me-as-much-espresso-as-you got-if-you-want-me-to-speak-clearly kind of person! But I cannot tell you how much better I feel each day if I am up and showered before my kids start babbling or my son sits on the potty still wearing his pj’s (forgetting that all too important step, yet again!).
And if I get to wake up to the sound of my soldier’s voice, it is already a blessed day. But if I stay in bed and wait for that phone call, I could be waiting for a long time.
Send an Email
I know, I know. How technology-dependent have we become? Well, very. And at this point, I don’t answer emails, mainly because I probably only have a couple minutes (if that) before my kiddos are up and moving like they’ve had three shots of espresso and because I don’t want people to begin to think that I will be up and ready to answer their questions at 6 a.m. every morning.
I check my email for one reason: to see if he sent me a message. If he did, he is probably frustrated with the phone system and apologizing for the call not going through (as though it is his fault at all). If he didn’t I know that his plate is even fuller than usual so I email him a few encouraging words, an “I love you” and a “stay safe” and log out.
Enter the Craziness
Yup, there’s my two-year-old, sitting on the potty, pants on, smiling. Luckily, since I have been up and showered, I catch him in time. Pants down, diaper off, M&M looming before him and I hear the babbling in the other room. I open the door and there is my 9-month-old, standing in his crib laughing at me. I wish my husband could see that smile.
Answer Emails
This is important for me because there are 18 soldiers (other than my own) who have their families depend on me to be their link to them during this deployment. Their parents, their spouses, their children, their fiancees, all have my information if they need me. I do not, for a moment, take that responsibility lightly.
I check to see if any questions have come up and I answer them quickly through an email if appropriate or a phone call depending on the time and taking into account the four different time zones there are family members in. This will bring me into perhaps one of the most important things for a Military Wife to remember…
Reach Out for Support
We cannot get through this alone. Okay fine, you can, if you want to be mediocre, if you want to just make it through and if you want to burn out somewhere down the line. But to be a strong support to my soldier, to be a good mother to our children, to take care of myself, I need to recognize that support is nothing but good.
I can only speak for the Army as far as personal experience, but there are so many incredible resources at our disposal during deployments. There are so many people who can help along the way — to do the simple things or to manage the hard things.
Every Army post has an MWR and ACS building/center that can be a major life-line for a military spouse. Use them! I cannot stress this enough. Any welcome center on a military installation can direct you to this building or center and when you enter you will find a plethora of information and people to help you to understand it. (Army OneSource is the online version).
This is also a great way to know what amazing free shows, deals and events are being offered for military families in your area. My children saw Disney on Ice: Toy Story 3 free because of information like this! You won’t know about it if you don’t reach out.
Set a Goal
Deadlines make everything go by so much faster and to have a deadline for something other than when your soldier will return home keeps your mind focused on other things. Many women run marathons, begin blogging, go back to school or volunteer.
To volunteer in the military community has been one of the most fulfilling things in my life. To support those in the same situation and to find support in them does nothing but strengthen the spirit.
Make Time Everyday for Daddy
My children have so many reminders of their Daddy. We aren’t able to Skype right now, so my husband has not seen our boys in about two months. But our boys have a Hallmark book that holds his voice, video recordings of him reading stories, a doll that is a likeness of him and each has a stuffed animal with his voice telling him goodnight.
Everyday we go through pictures, watch videos, talk about him and keep him present. This may be one of the most difficult things to juggle. We are like single parents when our soldiers are away — but at the same time we aren’t.
We are constantly trying to keep our soldiers part of their children’s lives and it can be so stressful. As a friend pointed out, it can make it difficult to enjoy the moments they are missing because we are constantly videoing, snapping pictures, taking notes and trying to keep them up-to-speed.
Let Him Know About Today
Each night I email my soldier with what went on that day and what amazing things are children did. I try to describe it as best as I can for him. This is a double-edged sword: I know he wants to know these things so very much but I also know how much it hurts him to know that he is missing these moments.
My son has crawled, sat up, pulled up and began to try to walk; when my soldier left he was rolling. When he returns, my son will be running.
I tell him about myself, too: what I did, what I hoped to do the next day. I also tell him how much I love him and how proud I am. I do this each day and I will continue to.
Make Time for You
I said how important and stressful it is to keep “daddy” present everyday. But it can be so very tiring, and it is so easy to get caught up in it. So everyday, when you put your children down to sleep, when the world has slowed for a moment, take that instant and breathe.
I write to my boys or I simply sit still. It is amazing the amount of emotions that run through the body if we sit still for a moment when they are gone. And I still say to take that moment and feel it. I do not think we should wallow in our heartache but I do think we should acknowledge it. To be present in it for a time is healthy, to overcome it is empowering. To hurt when they are gone does not make us weak, but to only hurt when they are gone will make us broken.
Read a book, find a blog of a military wife who lets you know that we all feel how you feel. We all hurt how you hurt. We all fear what you fear. Be empowered by the strength that exists within the band of sisters that surround you. Reboot. Recharge. Relax! You cannot be Mommy and Daddy everyday if you don’t.
I love this life. I miss my husband but I am so very proud of him. I want our children to be proud of him, too. If they see me sulk while their daddy is away, if they grow up with that image in their head, they will only remember that. They will not remember the pride, the love and the support.
I want them to understand the importance of his job as they age. I have to set the example by my actions as they grow. What our young children think of their fathers rests on our shoulders. There is so much we should do, everyday, to make sure that image is the same thing we see.
Stay strong. Stay committed. Persevere!
{Megan is an Army Wife to a wonderful soldier currently stationed in Kandahar, Afghanistan for a 12-month tour. She seeks to strengthen those around her, encourage those she’s never met and enlighten anyone who doesn’t understand this life. She supports the men and women in uniform with everything in her and looks forward to the next time she will see her husband marching in formation when they welcome him home next summer. Megan blogs at To Love a Soldier.}
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Already Sweet :)
I thought I'd go ahead and post one of the sonogram pictures the technician printed out for us. She had a hard time getting "photogenic" shots of Baby Girl...turns out she's already shy (and modest!) BUT, she was pretty still, just rolled a little, and most of the time, she had her feet up by her head (legs crossed), one hand behind her head/neck, and one arm across her belly.
Profile:
(Her head is on the left with her spine curving along the bottom right. Can you see her little nose and lips? :) Oh, and that's her leg above her face, haha!)
Some of you have asked about the other kids' reactions. From the time we told them they were going to have a new little brother or sister, Ian has been adamant that we'd have a little girl. (When asked why he wanted a girl, he said "they are cuter and prettier." Okay...) Emily was hoping for a boy "because little brothers are so cute and fun!" Katy fluctuated...but we told all the kids that God knew exactly what our family needed and He'd make the perfect choice.
It helps that we already have both boys and girls, so even they can see how equally (but differently) awesome each would be.
The boys were both with us for the appointment and were enthralled by the images on the screen. Neither, though, knew what they were looking at. On the way home, I asked Ian if he understood what the pictures meant and what the "doctor" had said; he said no. I said "you're going to have a little baby sister!" He just casually looked at me and said, "oh, I know." So there you have it. (He had been telling me all along, haha!)
After school, I told the girls. Well, actually I made them guess. Katy said "GIRL!" and Emily said "BOY!!" I said "...it's a GIRL!" and both of them started cheering and chanting "girls outnumber boy-oyys, girls outnumber boy-oys!" So silly. It's fun to see them all so excited and happy.
Collin? Well, we ask him where the baby is, and he pulls his shirt up and points to his belly-button, saying "baby?" Hope he adjusts quickly when he gets booted out of his "baby spot." (I'm sure he will.) :)
Profile:
(Her head is on the left with her spine curving along the bottom right. Can you see her little nose and lips? :) Oh, and that's her leg above her face, haha!)Some of you have asked about the other kids' reactions. From the time we told them they were going to have a new little brother or sister, Ian has been adamant that we'd have a little girl. (When asked why he wanted a girl, he said "they are cuter and prettier." Okay...) Emily was hoping for a boy "because little brothers are so cute and fun!" Katy fluctuated...but we told all the kids that God knew exactly what our family needed and He'd make the perfect choice.
It helps that we already have both boys and girls, so even they can see how equally (but differently) awesome each would be.
The boys were both with us for the appointment and were enthralled by the images on the screen. Neither, though, knew what they were looking at. On the way home, I asked Ian if he understood what the pictures meant and what the "doctor" had said; he said no. I said "you're going to have a little baby sister!" He just casually looked at me and said, "oh, I know." So there you have it. (He had been telling me all along, haha!)
After school, I told the girls. Well, actually I made them guess. Katy said "GIRL!" and Emily said "BOY!!" I said "...it's a GIRL!" and both of them started cheering and chanting "girls outnumber boy-oyys, girls outnumber boy-oys!" So silly. It's fun to see them all so excited and happy.
Collin? Well, we ask him where the baby is, and he pulls his shirt up and points to his belly-button, saying "baby?" Hope he adjusts quickly when he gets booted out of his "baby spot." (I'm sure he will.) :)
Friday, January 21, 2011
Baby Update
It's hard to believe that I'll be 19 weeks into this pregnancy tomorrow! It is both flying by and taking forever...it's complicated to explain, but many of you will understand anyway. :)
We had our Big Ultrasound today. I always look forward to these opportunities to sneak a peek at the baby with my uncontainable smile in tow, but I get a little nervous, too. :)
From the moment we saw the "+" sign, we knew we wanted to keep the gender a surprise (with the possible exceptions being more than one baby, OR something beingwrong extra unique.) We loved not knowing with the girls until they were born...it was SO. MUCH. FUN! (We also loved knowing with the boys...both ways have special perks!) Both Scott and I were pretty adamant this time...but I found myself less sure as I considered Scott not being there to find out WITH me this time. Wouldn't it be weird to have to tell him over the phone...or Skype?? In the end, we decided that finding out would allow Scott to feel more attached at this juncture and participate in the preparation, and it would also remove one unknown in a season that seems overly full of them. It was a good decision. :)
ANYWAY, I'll quit my rambling and get to the point you all care about!
Baby looks great...healthy and growing right on target!
And the big news? Welllllll...
and
That's what LITTLE GIRLS are made of!
We had our Big Ultrasound today. I always look forward to these opportunities to sneak a peek at the baby with my uncontainable smile in tow, but I get a little nervous, too. :)
From the moment we saw the "+" sign, we knew we wanted to keep the gender a surprise (with the possible exceptions being more than one baby, OR something being
ANYWAY, I'll quit my rambling and get to the point you all care about!
Baby looks great...healthy and growing right on target!
And the big news? Welllllll...
and
and
That's what LITTLE GIRLS are made of!(Only one little girl...just to clarify.) :)
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Meltdown
Well, I think I've recovered enough from my nervous breakdown (Sunday) to actually type. It's definitely not the first time I've gotten my toes steamrolled by a sermon, but I gotta say, this one caught me a little more off-guard than usual.
See, I knew there would be struggles in my heart...would...as in future tense. I knew I had periodic bouts of frustration or other notverypositive emotions. What I didn't recognize was that these (including the simple knowledge that I would struggle) were symptoms of a deep-seated rebellion that was not only being given free reign to grow, but also being excused in the most insidious ways.
It's natural to be scared or upset about one's husband missing the birth of a baby, right? *Enter in excusing attitude* So, since it's natural, it doesn't need to be changed or fought, right?
WRONG!!! *ding ding ding!*
The fact that it IS a 'natural' response requires that it be scrutinized! My natural self, i.e. my flesh, is definitely not the part of me that needs to run around unchecked, dictating how I think, feel, and behave.
In a nutshell (which really doesn't do the sermon--from 01/16/2011-- justice), we were looking at the Lord's Prayer from Luke 11, and Sunday's main point--that our focus and goal through prayer should be having our will conformed to God's and seeking whatever it is that will bring Him the most glory, rather than presenting our laundry list of wants and expecting God to conform to our will--hit me in a really personal way. See, when we pray for God to move in whatever way will glorify Him the most, we (naturally) need to be sincere...we need to actually want whatever will bring Him the most glory.
Sometimes there are specifics we're not sure of regarding God's calling. Sometimes, I think, He allows us freedoms to make choices. Do I want hot cider or hot cocoa to sip on? Unless there's some clear, specific leading on matters such as this, either choice would seem equally good. There's not really a wrong choice.
But other times, God's calling is pretty obvious. If I believe He is sovereign, which I do, then it stands to reason that I must accept that whatever is happening will be used for His purposes, His glory, the edification and/or sanctification of His people...my ultimate good (whether I understand how it's good in that moment or not.)
In my life, right now, it seems pretty obvious that Scott is going to deploy. If it's happening, it's being allowed by God; and if it's allowed by God, then it serves a purpose...a good purpose. It will bring opportunities for His glory to be shown, and if it's what He's chosen for us, then we can rest that it is, indeed, the best option.
But when I pray, am I really desiring for these events to play out? Even if they will glorify my God the most?
Just an ugly, honest truth: I'd rather have my husband home.
It's impossible for me to even voice that cry of my heart beyone a whisper now. And the rebellion contained in that one, simple realization was (and IS) heart-shattering and, very literally, left me gasping and sobbing. (My reaction was made even better because it happened at a time and place where roughly a million people could witness it. And that number might be a little exaggerated.) Sorry, Cornerstone parents, if you had to rush home and do any damage control due to the emotionally unstable, ugly-snotting woman in the 4th pew. (Or 5th...or wherever I was sitting.)
Again, I guess the good news is that I see it now. And I want to want what God has chosen; I want to accept it with grace, and I want Him to be magnified. However, I'm not sure how to quiet my own pleading for another easier way. (And it sure seems to pale in comparison with "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will." ~Matt. 26:39(b), or Luke 22:42 NASB) As far as I can tell, Jesus only asked once; as far as Scripture indicates, he wasn't holding out with false hope that the Father would change His mind.
Lord, please form, transform, and conform me. Please.
See, I knew there would be struggles in my heart...would...as in future tense. I knew I had periodic bouts of frustration or other notverypositive emotions. What I didn't recognize was that these (including the simple knowledge that I would struggle) were symptoms of a deep-seated rebellion that was not only being given free reign to grow, but also being excused in the most insidious ways.
It's natural to be scared or upset about one's husband missing the birth of a baby, right? *Enter in excusing attitude* So, since it's natural, it doesn't need to be changed or fought, right?
WRONG!!! *ding ding ding!*
The fact that it IS a 'natural' response requires that it be scrutinized! My natural self, i.e. my flesh, is definitely not the part of me that needs to run around unchecked, dictating how I think, feel, and behave.
In a nutshell (which really doesn't do the sermon--from 01/16/2011-- justice), we were looking at the Lord's Prayer from Luke 11, and Sunday's main point--that our focus and goal through prayer should be having our will conformed to God's and seeking whatever it is that will bring Him the most glory, rather than presenting our laundry list of wants and expecting God to conform to our will--hit me in a really personal way. See, when we pray for God to move in whatever way will glorify Him the most, we (naturally) need to be sincere...we need to actually want whatever will bring Him the most glory.
Sometimes there are specifics we're not sure of regarding God's calling. Sometimes, I think, He allows us freedoms to make choices. Do I want hot cider or hot cocoa to sip on? Unless there's some clear, specific leading on matters such as this, either choice would seem equally good. There's not really a wrong choice.
But other times, God's calling is pretty obvious. If I believe He is sovereign, which I do, then it stands to reason that I must accept that whatever is happening will be used for His purposes, His glory, the edification and/or sanctification of His people...my ultimate good (whether I understand how it's good in that moment or not.)
In my life, right now, it seems pretty obvious that Scott is going to deploy. If it's happening, it's being allowed by God; and if it's allowed by God, then it serves a purpose...a good purpose. It will bring opportunities for His glory to be shown, and if it's what He's chosen for us, then we can rest that it is, indeed, the best option.
But when I pray, am I really desiring for these events to play out? Even if they will glorify my God the most?
Just an ugly, honest truth: I'd rather have my husband home.
It's impossible for me to even voice that cry of my heart beyone a whisper now. And the rebellion contained in that one, simple realization was (and IS) heart-shattering and, very literally, left me gasping and sobbing. (My reaction was made even better because it happened at a time and place where roughly a million people could witness it. And that number might be a little exaggerated.) Sorry, Cornerstone parents, if you had to rush home and do any damage control due to the emotionally unstable, ugly-snotting woman in the 4th pew. (Or 5th...or wherever I was sitting.)
Again, I guess the good news is that I see it now. And I want to want what God has chosen; I want to accept it with grace, and I want Him to be magnified. However, I'm not sure how to quiet my own pleading for another easier way. (And it sure seems to pale in comparison with "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will." ~Matt. 26:39(b), or Luke 22:42 NASB) As far as I can tell, Jesus only asked once; as far as Scripture indicates, he wasn't holding out with false hope that the Father would change His mind.
Lord, please form, transform, and conform me. Please.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Contentlessment
I realize the title of this post isn't even a word, but discontentment doesn't seem like a strong enough word to really convey my meaning. Discontentment is the absence of contentment; what I'm dealing with isn't so passive...it's like contentment working backwards...contentment's evil twin: malcontentment...Darth Contentment...or something.
Have you ever an animal wallow in the mud? Or seen a picture? (That would be plenty sufficient.) My husband will laugh as I compare my state of mind to a "buffalo waller" (inside joke), but it's true. I'm tottering on the edge of a big, gross, mucky pit, and I'm glad to see it--and hopefully avert my current path! Falling in wasn't (isn't) the only threat; there's also the temptation to stay there and roll around in it.
I mentioned in my last post that I was abnormally serene, almost to the point of emotional numbness. Peaceful, yes...and I still am (praise the Lord!)...but I really wasn't processing (or even letting my mind wander) to what the months while Scott is away will actually look like, and feel like, and be like. I couldn't at first.
Now, as I go into planning mode, I can't help but go there...you can't plan without projecting yourself forward. It's simply an inevitable step in the process. The problem is that as I look ahead, I can't seem to separate the events from the emotion. I bounce from extremes...not a mixture of emotions, like feeling sad and scared at the same time; no, it's more like extreme sadness, maybe almost grief in a way, and then seconds later extreme, unadulterated fear. It's not only those two either. Anger is mixed in, and in some sick way, a feeling I couldn't quite place at first, but I think it's ultimately a twisted and deep pride! (The bad kind. The kind that looks ahead with an "oh-HO! You want me to handle this?! I'll SHOW you who's gonna handle the snot out of THIS" kind of pride.) Not just a deep, gritty determination, but pride! Isn't that horrid!?! I'm horrified...completely, utterly, unequivocally horrified!
Gotta love those little sneak peeks at your own sinful heart, huh? (And seriously? It's not like the first deployment was a cakewalk...who am I anyway?!)
My thought process, moments before beginning this post (in fact, the primary reason for writing this post) went something like this:
1. I sure miss my husband.
2. It stinks that he's on weekend duty.
3. It really stinks he's on weekend duty over a three-day weekend.
4. It really, really stinks that he's working nights and 12-hour shifts on weekends so that we never get to see him.
5. It stinks like moldy-cheese-that's-been-forgotten-for-16-years-in-teenage-boy-socks that he's on 2nd shift during the week so that he neverevereverever gets to see the girls!
6. I'm really annoyed with the people who make his schedule.
7. I'd like to give them a big piece of my mind. There has to be a better way. There is a better way. Why can't these people figure it out? Don't they teach people logic these days? (Um, yeah...it's easier to see the irony of that now...)
8. I mean, seriously, they schedule him to be gone over 9 months of 2010, break up the other 3 months into itty bitty, nasty-schedule-ridden, stressful tidbits, immediately give him weekend duty when he returns to work after returning from 7 weeks of training (well, plus a week and a half of leave...which they also screwed up), and then schedule him for a deployment that will cause his wife to move with their four kids without him while she's ginormously pregnant, and then give birth alone, and cause him to miss it all...OH! And we're still supposed to bleed 'Air Force Blue,' right?!
9. *incomprehensible mental mumbles*
Nice, right?
Did you notice that nowhere in there is there a smidge of thankfulness for anything? Do you see any iota of contentment with our (my) circumstances? (Yeah, not selfish at all, right? *sarcasm!*)
Dramatic much?
"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble."
~Paul, Philippians 4:11-14, ESV
Have you ever an animal wallow in the mud? Or seen a picture? (That would be plenty sufficient.) My husband will laugh as I compare my state of mind to a "buffalo waller" (inside joke), but it's true. I'm tottering on the edge of a big, gross, mucky pit, and I'm glad to see it--and hopefully avert my current path! Falling in wasn't (isn't) the only threat; there's also the temptation to stay there and roll around in it.
I mentioned in my last post that I was abnormally serene, almost to the point of emotional numbness. Peaceful, yes...and I still am (praise the Lord!)...but I really wasn't processing (or even letting my mind wander) to what the months while Scott is away will actually look like, and feel like, and be like. I couldn't at first.
Now, as I go into planning mode, I can't help but go there...you can't plan without projecting yourself forward. It's simply an inevitable step in the process. The problem is that as I look ahead, I can't seem to separate the events from the emotion. I bounce from extremes...not a mixture of emotions, like feeling sad and scared at the same time; no, it's more like extreme sadness, maybe almost grief in a way, and then seconds later extreme, unadulterated fear. It's not only those two either. Anger is mixed in, and in some sick way, a feeling I couldn't quite place at first, but I think it's ultimately a twisted and deep pride! (The bad kind. The kind that looks ahead with an "oh-HO! You want me to handle this?! I'll SHOW you who's gonna handle the snot out of THIS" kind of pride.) Not just a deep, gritty determination, but pride! Isn't that horrid!?! I'm horrified...completely, utterly, unequivocally horrified!
Gotta love those little sneak peeks at your own sinful heart, huh? (And seriously? It's not like the first deployment was a cakewalk...who am I anyway?!)
My thought process, moments before beginning this post (in fact, the primary reason for writing this post) went something like this:
1. I sure miss my husband.
2. It stinks that he's on weekend duty.
3. It really stinks he's on weekend duty over a three-day weekend.
4. It really, really stinks that he's working nights and 12-hour shifts on weekends so that we never get to see him.
5. It stinks like moldy-cheese-that's-been-forgotten-for-16-years-in-teenage-boy-socks that he's on 2nd shift during the week so that he neverevereverever gets to see the girls!
6. I'm really annoyed with the people who make his schedule.
7. I'd like to give them a big piece of my mind. There has to be a better way. There is a better way. Why can't these people figure it out? Don't they teach people logic these days? (Um, yeah...it's easier to see the irony of that now...)
8. I mean, seriously, they schedule him to be gone over 9 months of 2010, break up the other 3 months into itty bitty, nasty-schedule-ridden, stressful tidbits, immediately give him weekend duty when he returns to work after returning from 7 weeks of training (well, plus a week and a half of leave...which they also screwed up), and then schedule him for a deployment that will cause his wife to move with their four kids without him while she's ginormously pregnant, and then give birth alone, and cause him to miss it all...OH! And we're still supposed to bleed 'Air Force Blue,' right?!
9. *incomprehensible mental mumbles*
Nice, right?
Did you notice that nowhere in there is there a smidge of thankfulness for anything? Do you see any iota of contentment with our (my) circumstances? (Yeah, not selfish at all, right? *sarcasm!*)
Dramatic much?
*Deep breath*
So, here is my list of the things I need to think on...maybe exclusively, even to the detriment of planning (*gasp!*), until my eyes are focused back up where they should be:
1. I am thankful we have lived in Wichita for almost two years, that we are comfortable with the area and with a routine (even if it is an ever-changing one.)
2. I'm thankful (due to #1) that we have a wonderful church who will pray for us and make sure we are taken care of, and that we know so many other incredible people here! I'm thankful that so many people have already (already!) offered to help in so many varying capacities!
3. I'm thankful to not have to be changing doctors for this move.
4. I'm thankful this isn't our first baby and that, while every birth is different, not everything will be hugely shocking.
1. I am thankful we have lived in Wichita for almost two years, that we are comfortable with the area and with a routine (even if it is an ever-changing one.)
2. I'm thankful (due to #1) that we have a wonderful church who will pray for us and make sure we are taken care of, and that we know so many other incredible people here! I'm thankful that so many people have already (already!) offered to help in so many varying capacities!
3. I'm thankful to not have to be changing doctors for this move.
4. I'm thankful this isn't our first baby and that, while every birth is different, not everything will be hugely shocking.
5. I'm thankful for my husband, who is already doing everything he can to ensure we are taken care of and as settled and secure as possible.
6. I'm thankful for my children, who are resilient and strong, sensitive and industrious, compassionate and communicative, who will excel despite (and maybe even because of) their hardships. I'm thankful for their forgiveness and grace when their mamabehaves like she's younger than they are snaps momentarily due to her hardships...
7. I'm thankful this isn't our first move. (Similar to #4 in many ways)
8. I'm thankful for the technology that allows my family and far-away-friends to be so much more accessible. I'm thankful that many of the moments we won't be able to share with Scott in person will still be sharable in a different capacity through the internet.
9. (And the most important) I'm thankful that I don't have to walk this alone, that the Creator and Sustainer of the universe will carry me (us). Not only will He, but I'm thankful that He wants to! I'm thankful that nothing we're facing now, and nothing that lies ahead comes as a surprise to Him, that He has already worked it out for our good! I'm thankful that He is completely capable and completely trustworthy. What an awesome assurance that He who holds my hope is secure!
6. I'm thankful for my children, who are resilient and strong, sensitive and industrious, compassionate and communicative, who will excel despite (and maybe even because of) their hardships. I'm thankful for their forgiveness and grace when their mama
7. I'm thankful this isn't our first move. (Similar to #4 in many ways)
8. I'm thankful for the technology that allows my family and far-away-friends to be so much more accessible. I'm thankful that many of the moments we won't be able to share with Scott in person will still be sharable in a different capacity through the internet.
9. (And the most important) I'm thankful that I don't have to walk this alone, that the Creator and Sustainer of the universe will carry me (us). Not only will He, but I'm thankful that He wants to! I'm thankful that nothing we're facing now, and nothing that lies ahead comes as a surprise to Him, that He has already worked it out for our good! I'm thankful that He is completely capable and completely trustworthy. What an awesome assurance that He who holds my hope is secure!
Hissy-fit averted...for now anyway. :)
"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble."
~Paul, Philippians 4:11-14, ESV
Friday, January 14, 2011
Responsibility Vs. Stress
It's not any big secret that one of my greatest struggles is finding the balance between responsibly planning and diligently working with the future in mind, and worrying over how the future will play out...particularly when my efforts reveal themselves as completely inadequate. (In truth, I think my efforts are probably always sub-par compared to the requirements, but some times are easier than others to delude myself into a sense of security through my own self-sufficiency.)
We are told to "look to the ant [...], consider her ways [of preparing for the future diligently], and be wise." (Prov. 6:6-8, paraphrase) We are given minds capable of plans and rational decision-making, and we are called to be good stewards with what we are given. We are also commanded not to be anxious about the future or about how our needs will be met (Matt. 6:25, 31, 34; Luke 12:22), but to cast our cares upon the Lord (1 Pet. 5:7) in humility, through prayer and thanksgiving, and in faithful expectation of His peace (Phil. 4:6-7).
Finding that balance is grand, but in my own life, ashamedly, it's rare.
Right now, I find myself in a strange place of peace and confidence in the Lord's provision, but also in a state of near total emotional numbness. I am concerned that, as the waves begin crashing and my emotions and fears reawaken, that I'll find my current peace to be only an illusion. I find myself in a position where my weird sense of calm is allowing me freedom and clarity in planning and scheduling, both of which will be essential in the months to come. How can I safeguard myself so that my trust is not in what I'm doing, but in the assurance of God's complete provision? How will my heart turn as "zero hour" approaches, or will it turn? (I hope I will be steadfast, but again, I know that's not my trend.)
By now, I'm sure you're wondering what in the world I'm talking about. We found out yesterday that Scott will be deploying shortly before we move. Additionally, there is a transition underway to extend all four month deployments to six...I don't know when that transition will actually kick in, but it's possible that it will affect this deployment. Our family is supposed to move at the end of May. I'm due to have a baby in mid-June. He will be missing both.
It's a lot to take in.
I am so, so, SO thankful to be in a place where we feel somewhat established. We know people, we know the area...there is a certain amount of security in that. I know other people who have survived similar situations to this...maybe even flourished during their trial. I pray that I will, on a moment-by-moment basis, consciously allow myself to trust and rest in His all-sufficient grace. I pray I won't turn into a psycho stress-monster, that I will model appropriate actions and attitudes for my children and be able to help them cope through some really intense adjustments! And I (somewhat selfishly) pray that we'll be allowed to see how some of the pieces will fit together in advance...and that regardless, we'll trust.
But more than any of this is the disappointment and disillusionment that looms ready to attack my husband. I will have support, Godly friendships, a home (even if it's in boxes), and my kids; he will be, in those regards, very lonely. He won't be alone...we know God goes before us and that He will provide for each of us perfectly. He is not surprised by our current circumstances, and He's already planned to use it for His glory, our joy, and great good. But please pray for Scott. He feels his responsibility to provide and care for his family acutely; he has been present (or at least been in the local area) for every move; he has been the one to cut each of the kids' umbilical cords at their birth; he really does do so. much. for us! It's excruciating to watch him begin to process how different these milestones will be for our family...and I'm sure the rest of us will follow at some point, too.
So, there you have it...I don't really know anything more at this point. Thank you in advance for your prayers!
We are told to "look to the ant [...], consider her ways [of preparing for the future diligently], and be wise." (Prov. 6:6-8, paraphrase) We are given minds capable of plans and rational decision-making, and we are called to be good stewards with what we are given. We are also commanded not to be anxious about the future or about how our needs will be met (Matt. 6:25, 31, 34; Luke 12:22), but to cast our cares upon the Lord (1 Pet. 5:7) in humility, through prayer and thanksgiving, and in faithful expectation of His peace (Phil. 4:6-7).
Finding that balance is grand, but in my own life, ashamedly, it's rare.
Right now, I find myself in a strange place of peace and confidence in the Lord's provision, but also in a state of near total emotional numbness. I am concerned that, as the waves begin crashing and my emotions and fears reawaken, that I'll find my current peace to be only an illusion. I find myself in a position where my weird sense of calm is allowing me freedom and clarity in planning and scheduling, both of which will be essential in the months to come. How can I safeguard myself so that my trust is not in what I'm doing, but in the assurance of God's complete provision? How will my heart turn as "zero hour" approaches, or will it turn? (I hope I will be steadfast, but again, I know that's not my trend.)
By now, I'm sure you're wondering what in the world I'm talking about. We found out yesterday that Scott will be deploying shortly before we move. Additionally, there is a transition underway to extend all four month deployments to six...I don't know when that transition will actually kick in, but it's possible that it will affect this deployment. Our family is supposed to move at the end of May. I'm due to have a baby in mid-June. He will be missing both.
It's a lot to take in.
I am so, so, SO thankful to be in a place where we feel somewhat established. We know people, we know the area...there is a certain amount of security in that. I know other people who have survived similar situations to this...maybe even flourished during their trial. I pray that I will, on a moment-by-moment basis, consciously allow myself to trust and rest in His all-sufficient grace. I pray I won't turn into a psycho stress-monster, that I will model appropriate actions and attitudes for my children and be able to help them cope through some really intense adjustments! And I (somewhat selfishly) pray that we'll be allowed to see how some of the pieces will fit together in advance...and that regardless, we'll trust.
But more than any of this is the disappointment and disillusionment that looms ready to attack my husband. I will have support, Godly friendships, a home (even if it's in boxes), and my kids; he will be, in those regards, very lonely. He won't be alone...we know God goes before us and that He will provide for each of us perfectly. He is not surprised by our current circumstances, and He's already planned to use it for His glory, our joy, and great good. But please pray for Scott. He feels his responsibility to provide and care for his family acutely; he has been present (or at least been in the local area) for every move; he has been the one to cut each of the kids' umbilical cords at their birth; he really does do so. much. for us! It's excruciating to watch him begin to process how different these milestones will be for our family...and I'm sure the rest of us will follow at some point, too.
So, there you have it...I don't really know anything more at this point. Thank you in advance for your prayers!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Mixed Blessings?
I've always kind of wondered at that phrase, "mixed blessings"...can blessings really be mixed? I know what people mean when they say it (and I say it, too), but it just seems odd when I pause to think about it.
I've been reflecting on various friendships lately, but especially tonight. Current family events (and their connection to work related events) are indicating a new season of craziness is quickly approaching, much of which was previously unforeseen. (I'll disclose more another time as I am able.) Likely, it will force increased dependence on friendships, and certainly it will require increased dependence upon the Lord, (which is always good even when the circumstances aren't ideal.) I'm grateful for the body of Christ and to know so many sweet and giving people; I'm grateful as I look back at others in other places who have clearly been instruments of grace and mercy to our family...to me, personally, over the years. It's in the looking back that some bittersweetness creeps in.
Everyone who has moved understands that physical distance changes friendships...usually. There are rare exceptions. 'Casual friends' are distinguished from those who share some sort of investment in the relationship, as one camp slowly (or quickly) fades, usually unintentionally or naturally, and the other puts effort into staying in touch. Most tragic are the friendships that are broken, either abruptly, or through gradual (but intentional) communicative distance. During every move we've made (and even going back to moves from my childhood), I think I can probably find examples of each of these "categories" of friendships. Sometimes I've been very surprised to find that people I didn't think I knew very have stuck with me, and allowed me to stick with them, even on opposite sides of the country; conversely, I've been surprised (in a sad way) and perplexed when someone I have counted as a very close friend shows no interest in maintaining communication once we're in different cities. Sometimes I know exactly why there's distance, and other times I'm confused (and maybe even frustrated) that there seems to be no reason to the sudden shift. In all cases, it seems, I'm pretty slow in catching on. I always want to give people, especially those I've been close to previously, the benefit of the doubt: maybe they're just not letter-writers; maybe they don't like email; maybe they've moved too, and I don't have a current address; maybe it's just a busy season for them. Eventually, I get to the point I start wondering if I just misjudged the friendship entirely from the beginning, or if I've done something wrong inadvertently...and sometimes, that's the case! (The sad/frustrating part is when it takes me forever to catch on or find out.)
Until very recently, I had a really hard time just letting once-close friends go...at least freely, without hurt feelings and overall bad juju. And, maybe, even though it seems like I've been able to turn a corner, this will end up being like many of my battles, recurring, where I'll waffle back and forth between contentment and...uh...not contentment. Hopefully not.
For now, I'm counting it a blessing that God has placed specific people in my life for specific reasons and specific seasons; the bigger shift, however, is that I'm also choosing (or trying to anyway) to count it a blessing when those reasons, seasons, and *gulp* friendships end. In some ways, I will always miss them...but in losing them, I can also see how God is faithfully moving me forward and onward, not allowing me to look back, which I am so prone to do. I guess I'd classify such relationships among those elusive mixed blessings.
I don't really know, beyond a select few of you who leave me periodic comments (thanks!), who reads this, but I'm so grateful for the continued fellowship and friendship you extend to me. I'm grateful for the opportunities to share in your lives as well--to pray with and for you, to laugh and cry and vent with you--for your generosity and support to me and my family!
I've been reflecting on various friendships lately, but especially tonight. Current family events (and their connection to work related events) are indicating a new season of craziness is quickly approaching, much of which was previously unforeseen. (I'll disclose more another time as I am able.) Likely, it will force increased dependence on friendships, and certainly it will require increased dependence upon the Lord, (which is always good even when the circumstances aren't ideal.) I'm grateful for the body of Christ and to know so many sweet and giving people; I'm grateful as I look back at others in other places who have clearly been instruments of grace and mercy to our family...to me, personally, over the years. It's in the looking back that some bittersweetness creeps in.
Everyone who has moved understands that physical distance changes friendships...usually. There are rare exceptions. 'Casual friends' are distinguished from those who share some sort of investment in the relationship, as one camp slowly (or quickly) fades, usually unintentionally or naturally, and the other puts effort into staying in touch. Most tragic are the friendships that are broken, either abruptly, or through gradual (but intentional) communicative distance. During every move we've made (and even going back to moves from my childhood), I think I can probably find examples of each of these "categories" of friendships. Sometimes I've been very surprised to find that people I didn't think I knew very have stuck with me, and allowed me to stick with them, even on opposite sides of the country; conversely, I've been surprised (in a sad way) and perplexed when someone I have counted as a very close friend shows no interest in maintaining communication once we're in different cities. Sometimes I know exactly why there's distance, and other times I'm confused (and maybe even frustrated) that there seems to be no reason to the sudden shift. In all cases, it seems, I'm pretty slow in catching on. I always want to give people, especially those I've been close to previously, the benefit of the doubt: maybe they're just not letter-writers; maybe they don't like email; maybe they've moved too, and I don't have a current address; maybe it's just a busy season for them. Eventually, I get to the point I start wondering if I just misjudged the friendship entirely from the beginning, or if I've done something wrong inadvertently...and sometimes, that's the case! (The sad/frustrating part is when it takes me forever to catch on or find out.)
Until very recently, I had a really hard time just letting once-close friends go...at least freely, without hurt feelings and overall bad juju. And, maybe, even though it seems like I've been able to turn a corner, this will end up being like many of my battles, recurring, where I'll waffle back and forth between contentment and...uh...not contentment. Hopefully not.
For now, I'm counting it a blessing that God has placed specific people in my life for specific reasons and specific seasons; the bigger shift, however, is that I'm also choosing (or trying to anyway) to count it a blessing when those reasons, seasons, and *gulp* friendships end. In some ways, I will always miss them...but in losing them, I can also see how God is faithfully moving me forward and onward, not allowing me to look back, which I am so prone to do. I guess I'd classify such relationships among those elusive mixed blessings.
I don't really know, beyond a select few of you who leave me periodic comments (thanks!), who reads this, but I'm so grateful for the continued fellowship and friendship you extend to me. I'm grateful for the opportunities to share in your lives as well--to pray with and for you, to laugh and cry and vent with you--for your generosity and support to me and my family!
If any of those "old" friends, who are more estranged now, actually read this: thank you for your friendship, too, and for being an instrumental part of a pivotal season of my life. Regardless of what may have distanced us, it's comforting to know that even that has been (or is being) used for great good! I hope you can see it, too.
I think each of us, maybe in varying degrees or capacities, longs to find and hang onto those kindred spirits (thanks, Anne of Green Gables)...those rare heart-friends; I sure do. I'm thankful, though, that even in seasons where the 'friend stream' feels dry, I can wait with complete assurance that I am not being left alone...not really. [Note to future-Shannon: Remember this in the months to come! You aren't really alone!]
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Snow!
Well, Wichita finally got some snow! At our house, I think the total accumulation measured somewhere between three and four inches, but it was enough to play in...and shovel. :) One of these days, maybe we'll be included with the rest of the country (that seems to be getting uncanny amounts of snow each winter!) If not...well...I guess I have a bone to pick with Jack Frost.
The Snow started Sunday afternoon and continued most of the night. We had about 2 inches (maybe) by morning, and school was still on time. (It should be noted, though, that Mondays are always "late start days" in our district, so the girls didn't actually have to leave our house till 8:30.) I got a few pictures with the boys "helping" me shovel the driveway and sidewalk. After school, though, the girls got out there, too, and joined in the fun.
This was after losing his balance a few times. See the snow stuck to his forehead? Now picture his bum up in the air, and you know what "walking" in the snow looks like with a toddler. :)
Ian enjoyed helping me shovel the driveway. See the snow that's been flung all over the portion of the driveway that was clear? Yeah... He sure had fun, though!
Oh, and just to clarify, the purple hat that Ian's wearing? It's really not girly. It's actually a Buzz Lightyear "helmet" (go figure) that's just mostly hidden beneath his hood.Scott got home from some training just in time to have a snowball fight with the boys. (Well, really just with Ian...Collin stood at a safe distance and laughed at them.) Notice the snowball that's about to smack Ian in the face... 
We definitely need more snow days, don't you think??
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
New Aprons!
When we returned home from our Christmas vacation, we found a package nestled on our porch. My sweet, sweet friend, Stephanie, made matching aprons for my girls and a coordinating table runner (not pictured)! When I read her note to Em and Kate, visible light may have actually beamed from their smiles. I am so touched that they have received so much encouragement and affirmation from others for the hard work and service they happily offered during the months of Scott's absence and my sickness! Most of us can relate to a time when we were truly pouring out our all, and while we didn't do it for recognition or accolades, the fact that someone else noticed, someone that didn't "have to" (not that moms and dads have to, but hopefully you can follow my intent here)...it just means a lot when your big efforts are noticed and mean something. I am so grateful to have wonderful friends who will pour encouragement into the hearts of my littles.
Here are my sweeties making muffins for the family:
Thank you, Stephanie, for thinking of us and making such thoughtful gifts!
Here are my sweeties making muffins for the family:
Thank you, Stephanie, for thinking of us and making such thoughtful gifts! Friday, January 7, 2011
11 Step Program (for those thinking of having kids)
(Shamelessly stolen from a friend's Facebook page)
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required.) Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
**OH! And for those interested, this morning was much better than yesterday! Everyone was ready to go more than 30 minutes early!
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required.) Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
**OH! And for those interested, this morning was much better than yesterday! Everyone was ready to go more than 30 minutes early!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Despicable Mama?
Last night, Scott brought home "Despicable Me," which is a cute and entertaining flick; we enjoyed it thoroughly.In one part, the main character exclaims in exasperation, "You will suffer de wrath of Gru!!" After an incident with my eldest today, I can almost chuckle with how precisely I could claim that quote as my own.
My girls are typically pretty good about getting up and ready for school almost entirely on their own. They have an alarm clock in their room set for 6 a.m., and when it goes off, Katy gets in the bath tub and Emily gets dressed and begins cleaning up their room. (You'd think there wouldn't be too much to pick up since they don't keep toys in there, aren't allowed to have food in there, and generally don't spend much time other than sleeping in there...but you'd be wrong. Somehow.) Well, toward the end of last semester, I would often knock to check on my angels only to find Emily still in her pajamas at 7:00...with nothing done. (Katy, being a little more compliant by nature and also a morning person, was still reasonably on track.) That last week and a half to two weeks before the break left me feeling like I started every single day as a grouch, simply because some of my first words to my girls were barked military style in the effort to get them out the door on time and looking presentable.
January 3rd came, and the girls were sooooo excited to get back to school, see their teachers, and catch up with their friends that Monday and Tuesday required zero effort on my part to get them ready on time. In fact, Emily even had time on Monday to spend about 20 minutes or so practicing her guitar! Yesterday, I had to keep checking on them and reminding them, and today...well, it was back to pre-Christmas "routine." At 7:05, after I'd already urged her twice to get moving, Emily was still in her PJs. In Frustrated Proclamation Mode, I announced that I'd be leaving promptly at 7:30 to take whomever was ready to school. Anyone not ready would be left behind (Scott is home in the mornings right now because of his shift at work, so don't panic thinking I'd leave any of my kiddos unsupervised and alone.) A person who would suffer such a fate would have to walk the [very familiar] 1/2 mile to school...in the cold...late. Since my kids get their breakfast at school, that unfortunate child would most likely miss breakfast as well. Her breakfast-less, tardy self would be paying the consequences of her sloth until lunch time. Harsh? Maybe. They were going to "suffer the wrath of
Or maybe I'm more like Vector: "with both direction and magnitude!!" (HAHA!)
I was fully prepared to follow through, too.
Just at the last minute as Katy was buckling into the car, Emily ran down the stairs, coat zipped and ready to go. Close call. It got her attention.
I wonder if tomorrow will be any different...
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
9 Years!
I can hardly believe it, but 9 years ago today, I married the man of my dreams. NINE YEARS! And today, 9 years later, though the dreams have changed fairly significantly, he's still the man in them and of them.
It. Is. Good.
I posted this picture last year too, but I like looking at it, so I posted it again. :)
And just for comparison's sake, here we are today (literally)...less fancied up, but that's okay.
We had just gotten back from an Olive Garden date (with the boys). :)
Scott, I love you with my whole heart, and I praise God for seeing fit to make us one (and that He continues that work in us with each passing day!) Happy anniversary!!!
It. Is. Good.
I posted this picture last year too, but I like looking at it, so I posted it again. :)And just for comparison's sake, here we are today (literally)...less fancied up, but that's okay.
We had just gotten back from an Olive Garden date (with the boys). :)
Scott, I love you with my whole heart, and I praise God for seeing fit to make us one (and that He continues that work in us with each passing day!) Happy anniversary!!!
Monday, January 3, 2011
We're Baa-aaaack!
After two weeks of visiting family (in three locations), driving over 2200 miles, and weathering a [minor] stomach virus with poor lil' #3, we returned safely and soundly last night. I only took a few pictures (despite the best of intentions), and all of them were in Los Alamos (ack! I know!!), so I don't have much to show...but if you could have seen our van yesterday, you would have been very impressed by the hubby's exquisite packing skills and the sweet, smiling munchkins who not only endured those hundreds and hundreds of cramped miles, but did so with without ever complaining and with only one book and one toy available to each of them. I was impressed and so proud of their flexible cheerfulness...and their amazing travel abilities are certainly not taken for granted.
Scott's leave paperwork was finally officially signed on Tuesday afternoon. He came home and changed, and we hurried to throw all our stuff in the car and beat the heck outa Wichita before anyone could change their minds and call him back in! Leaving at 3:30 in the afternoon, however, meant there was no reasonable way to make the drive to Los Alamos all in one go; we stayed the night in Amarillo. After a leisurely breakfast, we got on the road again, waved at all the signs for Albuquerque (because that's where my parents were awaiting my brother and sister, who were flying in from Chicago and Indianapolis). We headed straight to LA without passing "Go" or collecting $200 (though me might've stopped if someone had offered to pay us $200), had a slow-paced dinner and headed to bed.
Over the next couple of days, we had an absolute blast with Grandma, Grampa, Uncle Kevin, and Aunt Chrissy. We woke up on Christmas Eve morning to a fresh dusting of snow (the only precipitation we saw the whole trip...not that I'm bitter), which the kids quickly capitalized on. Though there was only about half an inch or so, they somehow managed to build a snowman and have a decent snowball fight, laughing all the while about "all the snow." While it's sad that anyone could think that was a respectable amount of winter weather, I'm trying to adopt some of their contentment; I haven't quite recovered from my near-crippling case of Blizzard Envy from last year!
We enjoyed visiting with church family, and even managed to get some pictures taken of our whole family at the Christmas Eve service! (It's rare to gather all of us together now that we're spread all over the country!) Here is the picture from my camera:
Obviously, we weren't quite ready, but I love it all the same. I think it captures our real personalities, don't you? :) (Haha! Look at Ian...he's my fave in this shot!)
Monday morning, we took off for Odessa, TX. Scott's aunt and uncle graciously opened their home to us, and we enjoyed visiting with them and Scott's mom and brother. Uncle Garrett (Scott's bro) introduced us to a neato "jumping place," filled with all kinds of inflatable jump castle-type equipment. The kids had an absolute ball, and even the parents were allowed to join in the fun! I didn't have my camera with me then, so you'll just have to take my word for it: it was HILARIOUS.
The original plan was to drive to Frisco (where Scott's dad and stepmom live) on the 30th, but Ian (bless his little heart) planned a little diversion thatforced, er, enabled us to stay another day. Just as Scott and I were going to bed on Wednesday night, we heard some low wimpering from the kids' room. Scott, a.k.a. my knight in shining armor, went to check it out. Poor Ian had gotten sick all over his bed. :( Thankfully, even though the girls were right next to him, the mess hadn't spread too far, and they were so fast asleep that they hardly even stirred. (I'm still amazed!) I tried to help, but my still-weak tummy and Super Woman-grade olfactory sensitivity sent me reeling. My prince stayed up virtually all night long and handled ALL the stinky jobs, while I got snuggle duty (after Scott bathed him) and the all-important job of hollering for help when a new...uh...episode was beginning. The drama continued every 15-20 minutes the entire night, but by about 7:45 the next morning, Ian seemed to have settled.
We opted not to drive for 7 hours that day.
Even though Ian's appetite hadn't returned, he hadn't thrown up any more, so we decided to head to Frisco on New Year's Eve, making a stop in Abilene on the way to have lunch with a dear friend. (Jim, we had a blast with you! Thanks!!) The drive went very smoothly, and the kids did great. We arrived in Frisco around 7:00 that night and were greeted by the most delicious hamburgers in the universe! (And I haven't been able to eat meat very consistently, so if I'm saying it, you know they were amazing!) Ian was really tired and not hungry, so we laid him down...and then he threw up a little while later. Thankfully, it was an isolated incident, so maybe it was just the drive taking its toll on him...who knows? (But we're sorry, Nana, Papa, Uncle Shane, and Aunt Kristen, if we exposed you to any new germies!)
We had a wonderful visit with everyone and feel truly blessed that everyone was so sweet and welcoming to our traveling 3-ring circus.
-our fearless leader
-Collin and me on Christmas morning-
-Katy with her magnetic chess set. This served us well for the rest of the trip, even before we got back in the car!
Scott's leave paperwork was finally officially signed on Tuesday afternoon. He came home and changed, and we hurried to throw all our stuff in the car and beat the heck outa Wichita before anyone could change their minds and call him back in! Leaving at 3:30 in the afternoon, however, meant there was no reasonable way to make the drive to Los Alamos all in one go; we stayed the night in Amarillo. After a leisurely breakfast, we got on the road again, waved at all the signs for Albuquerque (because that's where my parents were awaiting my brother and sister, who were flying in from Chicago and Indianapolis). We headed straight to LA without passing "Go" or collecting $200 (though me might've stopped if someone had offered to pay us $200), had a slow-paced dinner and headed to bed.
Over the next couple of days, we had an absolute blast with Grandma, Grampa, Uncle Kevin, and Aunt Chrissy. We woke up on Christmas Eve morning to a fresh dusting of snow (the only precipitation we saw the whole trip...not that I'm bitter), which the kids quickly capitalized on. Though there was only about half an inch or so, they somehow managed to build a snowman and have a decent snowball fight, laughing all the while about "all the snow." While it's sad that anyone could think that was a respectable amount of winter weather, I'm trying to adopt some of their contentment; I haven't quite recovered from my near-crippling case of Blizzard Envy from last year!
We enjoyed visiting with church family, and even managed to get some pictures taken of our whole family at the Christmas Eve service! (It's rare to gather all of us together now that we're spread all over the country!) Here is the picture from my camera:
Obviously, we weren't quite ready, but I love it all the same. I think it captures our real personalities, don't you? :) (Haha! Look at Ian...he's my fave in this shot!)Monday morning, we took off for Odessa, TX. Scott's aunt and uncle graciously opened their home to us, and we enjoyed visiting with them and Scott's mom and brother. Uncle Garrett (Scott's bro) introduced us to a neato "jumping place," filled with all kinds of inflatable jump castle-type equipment. The kids had an absolute ball, and even the parents were allowed to join in the fun! I didn't have my camera with me then, so you'll just have to take my word for it: it was HILARIOUS.
The original plan was to drive to Frisco (where Scott's dad and stepmom live) on the 30th, but Ian (bless his little heart) planned a little diversion that
We opted not to drive for 7 hours that day.
Even though Ian's appetite hadn't returned, he hadn't thrown up any more, so we decided to head to Frisco on New Year's Eve, making a stop in Abilene on the way to have lunch with a dear friend. (Jim, we had a blast with you! Thanks!!) The drive went very smoothly, and the kids did great. We arrived in Frisco around 7:00 that night and were greeted by the most delicious hamburgers in the universe! (And I haven't been able to eat meat very consistently, so if I'm saying it, you know they were amazing!) Ian was really tired and not hungry, so we laid him down...and then he threw up a little while later. Thankfully, it was an isolated incident, so maybe it was just the drive taking its toll on him...who knows? (But we're sorry, Nana, Papa, Uncle Shane, and Aunt Kristen, if we exposed you to any new germies!)
We had a wonderful visit with everyone and feel truly blessed that everyone was so sweet and welcoming to our traveling 3-ring circus.
Other miscellaneous pics:
-decorating sugar cookies
-our fearless leader-Collin and me on Christmas morning-
-Katy with her magnetic chess set. This served us well for the rest of the trip, even before we got back in the car!
-Uncle Kevin helped Ian build his lego Buzz Lightyear...yessssss!
-playing Super Mario 3 with Aunt Chrissy (my personal favorite video game EVAARRR!)
-playing Super Mario 3 with Aunt Chrissy (my personal favorite video game EVAARRR!)
Hope all of you had a very merry Christmas and a fantastic beginning to 2011!
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